Baby Kids Club

the pieces of my heart

I asked Kelly Dirkes for permission to repost this. I'm getting a lot of love from people in my inbox thanking me for helping this family. The real credit goes to this mama....she's my hero.

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Last week, I found pieces of my heart that I didn’t even know were there.

The pieces of my heart were hidden in two rumpled baby pictures stapled to her official file at the children’s ministry in her country. She was just three weeks old in one and sleeping after her bottle. There was milk running down her face and neck into her tight swaddling. She was a little over a year in the other, and fighting the caregiver holding down her hands. There was a definite air of grumpiness as if she had just been woken from a nap. Her details were noted on the reverse of both photos.

I pored over every detail, every inch of her. The woman reading her file to us separated them from the folder and handed them to me with a wide smile. Asking us if we wanted to meet her was merely a formality. Just holding those grainy images in my hands made my heart flutter.

The pieces of my heart were stashed away in the corner of the baby house director’s office. I struggled to contain my emotion as Olga laid out all the details for us. Her family signed away their rights to her as soon as the genetic testing confirming her Down Syndrome came back when she was ten days old. They never looked back. They’ve never visited or even called about their tiny daughter. They told the doctors and Olga they didn’t want her.

I stumbled over my words as I tried to explain just how desperately she is wanted. The words I used to try to convey how loved she already is seemed inadequate. I tried to describe just how blessed and privileged I am to have the opportunity to call her mine. My heart broke in that very moment.

The pieces of my heart were tucked away in the anticipation of waiting for her to physically appear. The ten minutes we spent sitting on the couch in the visiting room seemed much longer than they really were. The clock ticking on the wall behind us was the only sound in the room. The clouds hung heavy and gray outside the window. The candles lighting the small Orthodox shrine flickered. Even the baby house’s small green and yellow parakeet Kersha stood perfectly still on his perch.

I wondered what she would be like. I saw the pictures and videos from friends who had come to the baby house before us. I had memorized her bright blue eyes and her soft dirty blonde hair. I knew that her small stature belied a big personality. The longer I sat there, straining to hear any sort of child’s noise coming down the hallway, the faster my heart beat. I was finally going to meet my daughter.

The pieces of my heart were concealed in the first glimpse of an exquisitely tiny little girl in a purple and pink flowered corduroy dress. She came around the doorway clutching her favorite caregiver’s finger. She tipped her head slightly to the left, stuck her thumb in her mouth, and smiled coyly. She studied everyone intently, walking around the room as she did so.

I bit the inside of my lip as I watched her survey our in-country coordinator, our translator, and my husband. I kept telling myself not to cry because I didn’t want to scare her. I smiled at her and waited. She stopped directly in front of me, and it felt like she was trying to look right through me. After a moment, she clambered up into my lap and nestled against my body. She grinned up at me, resting a pudgy hand on mine. It was as if she knew.

She knew she had her Momma’s heart.

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We've seen some pretty big miracles happen for the Dirkes family over the past 48 hours. They're now traveling on Monday to see Charlotte again and go to court to legally make her theirs....thanks to the generous support of this community. Charlotte's nation requires a 30 day wait from that court date until they can bring her home. They will return to her country in March....to pick up the pieces of their hearts.

Will you help make that miracle happen?

Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute:
You didn't grow under my heart-
But in it.
(Anonymous)

Donate on the chip-in button at the top of the sidebar here....spread the word to help bring Charlotte home.

New Born Baby

a new day

Kids Club 08:41

Dearest Lily,

It's a new day and a new year. Last night I lay in bed with you sleeping peacefully beside me, as I reflected over this past year and all that it held.

I tell your daddy this all the time, but those moments that I'm drifting off to sleep- the hazy moments that are the bridge between reality and dreams- are my favorite part of the day. Because the world, or at least my little world, is obligated to stand still for just a few minutes, when little ones are sleeping and responsibilities must wait. And in those moments I can reflect on the events of the day, and savor each one, like pearls on a strand. And maybe it's the veil of sleep that's descending that makes those pearls so breathtaking, or maybe it's the ever-present grace of God that overshadows every failure or misspoken word or human error, but as I'm remembering, I'm filled with such a sense of peace, and such an appreciation for the life I've been given, that the best word I can use to describe those twilight moments would be: contentment.

So last night, as I was reflecting back on the strand of pearls that was last year, I was overwhelmed again by the beautiful and wonderful sense of purpose your life has brought to mine. I'm in awe of all the God has done through your life already...and I'm so excited to see what the future holds as well.

If someone would have told me a year ago, when I had just begun advocating for orphans, about all that would happen in the months to come, I might not have believed them.

If someone would have told me that Olga's family would be just weeks away from traveling to meet her...or that Kareen would not only be rescued, but appearing on national news...or that Peter would officially be a Kehm right now, and just a few days away from his Gotcha day...or that Albina and Artem would have wonderful committed families, determined to bring them home this year...I would have had to pinch myself, to see if I was dreaming.

In fact I do find myself asking your daddy almost daily... and especially when I watched Kareen's story on the news (we had to go find a tv at a fitness center just to watch it!;)) ...can you believe this is really happening??

Because these moments- the ones lived out day to day, with no veil of sleep to shroud them, but indeed covered in the grace of a loving God- have so often been the stuff dreams are made of. In fact so many of the moments of this past year were in reality...our dreams come true.

I don't want to sugar coat this year, Lily, because there have been disappointments as well- devastating ones.

I read this today, and it is so true: Good and bad run on parallel tracks and usually arrive about the same time. Life is never all good or all bad. On any given day, we may see the brightest lights and the dimmest darkness.

I'm still heartbroken over orphans left behind, like Brent and Robyn, and ones whose future is uncertain at best, like Ty and Tanner. I want to do everything I can to raise awareness and funds for these children, because just as the bright spots of last year, they are truly glimmering, although undiscovered pearls.

And when I think about the life I've been given- filled with its own little ups and downs, but so, so blessed - I don't want to turn my eyes to those other pearls, because the ones I'm holding are so breathtaking. We have it so good, Lily. So good.

We're blessed beyond measure to live in the nation and the generation that we do, blessed by the generosity and kindness of a loving extended family, we've been showered with gifts and laughter and joy, we're blessed to be surrounded by our children and friends and loved ones, we are exceedingly, abundantly blessed more than we could ask or think.

I've been given a very precious gift in this life, and I don't want to spend it gazing only at the pearls before me, soaking in each moment as if there weren't others who don't know this wonderful side of things, this parallel side of the track called contentment. I want to cherish what I have, and give honor to the One who gave it to me, but I always, always want to keep my eyes on the ones who desperately need hope.

Lord, help me to keep a right perspective this year. Help me to value what you've given me, and take time to enjoy each and every precious pearl you've placed on the strand that makes up my life...

.... but help me never to forget those hidden and undiscovered pearls lying across the ocean, help me never to close my eyes to their value, and to the desperate need that they be found and treasured for the beauty that they are.

It's a new day and a new year, dearest Lily. And I can't wait to see what God will do.

Always yours,

Mama oxox

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Please don't miss THIS OPPORTUNITY to redeem a pearl...

A faithful reader, Sue has issued a challenge:

In Brent's current picture on RR they have him in purple. Did you know that purple ribbons and purple in general is used as a symbol of hope for those with pancreatic cancer (similar to pink for breast cancer). Maybe we can challenge everyone who has lost someone to pancreatic cancer or to any type of cancer, to donate to Brent in honor of their loved one. Pancreatic cancer is called a "silent killer" and the fate of these special needs orphans is another "silent killer" that we need to talk about and wipe out.

Go HERE to donate to Brent.

New Born Baby

ARTEM'S FAMILY PART TWO!!

Kids Club 17:37

Before I conduct my lil' exclusive interview with Michelle

New Born Baby

ARTEM'S FAMILY PART TWO!!

Kids Club 16:48

Before I conduct my lil' "exclusive" interview with Michelle Mosley, Artem's mama, let me just say- I dreamed about this day for so long. Literally dreamed about the day when I would be asking Artem's mama questions about how they decided to rescue their son, what life would be like for him when they brought him home, etc. So pretty much this interview is like a dream come true for me...forgive me if my words are sort of running together like one big run-on sentence, I do that when I'm wildly ecstatic!

Are you ready??? Here we go!!

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH MICHELLE MOSLEY:
I just love the sound of that.

1) How did you come to decide to adopt?

2) I hear there are a lot of families from Kearney adopting, can you tell me about this?

3)Tell us all about what life will be like for Artem...

4) Do all of your friends see the strong resemblance between Artem and you and your husband?!?!

New Born Baby

a different story

Kids Club 00:07

Dear Friends,

If you're a part of our Down syndrome blogging community, you've no doubt been following with joyful hearts the fabulous news coverage given to a little girl named Mia Kareen. Her parents, Kris and Kecia Cox, traveled last spring to Eastern Europe to adopt her.

Last December we featured two beautiful little girls in our Home For Christmas iPad Giveaway- Olga and Kareen. So many readers here gave faithfully and liberally to Kareen's grant fund on Reece's Rainbow, in the hopes of attracting a family for her.

And it worked.

Not two weeks after the giveaway ended, Kecia wrote to me saying she saw Kareen's face here and knew she found her daughter.

There are some stories in life that seem more like fairy tales, that seem just too good to be true- and this is one of them.

And there are some stories in life that are so horrendous, so unimaginable, that it's easier to just close our eyes to them and pretend they didn't happen.

This is Brent...

This is Brents' description on Reece's Rainbow:

Boy, Born June 21, 2005

Look how darling this little one is! Brent is HEALTHY, with no noted heart conditions. He is active and an Orphanage favorite. He is considered lower functioning than Spencer or Kareen, but will truly blossom like a flower in a loving family environment.

Brent waited at his orphanage for a family to come and rescue him...waited and waited until he finally turned 6 years old. His description states he was an orphanage favorite- perhaps the reason he was able to wait longer than the typical age of four or five when children are transferred to a mental institution for life.

But the day came when - orphanage favorite or not - Brent's transfer papers were drawn, and they came and took him away from the only home he'd ever known...because now, listed under his photo are these words...

Brent has been transferred

Please give Brent a chance!

I started the Angel Tree project this year advocating for two little angels- Artem and Robyn. I added Ty in when my friend Julie decided to adopt him along with Peter. As many of you know, Ty become unavailable for adoption shortly after the Kehm's traveled to rescue their boys.

I asked Andrea Roberts for help choosing another child, and she gave me Brent.

Last year, when our giveaway for Olga became so successful that it was apparent she would find a family soon, I asked Andrea for the name of a child who needed our help...and she gave me Kareen. An orphanage favorite herself, Kareen was facing transfer- and the orphanage directors had specifically asked for someone to help find her a family.

Two children, facing the same nightmare of a future. One was spared, and the other is living out that nightmare today.

And if you think those words are sensational, and you think that ugliness and pain do not truly exist in the world, go take a look at the institution featured in this video- filmed in the same area where little Brent lives - and ask yourself if that is any place for a little boy? Or read this post, written by the mother of a little boy who was surviving in one of those institutions- surviving, because there is no way you can call it living in any true sense of the word -and ask yourself the same thing I'm asking myself- what can I do to help?

I don't have any fancy giveaways today. No iPads or cameras or gift cards or prizes. I just want to put before you the face of an innocent little boy, every bit as deserving of a family as Kareen, and ask you to help.

Please spread the word- Brent needs a family. Please ask yourself if you could be that family. If you are able to, please donate to Brent's grant fund on Reece's Rainbow, so that when a family does come forward for him, they are that much closer to rescuing him.

Please help write a different story for Brent.

New Born Baby