Koa : How Great Is Our God

Once upon a time, on a sunny day in July, a beautiful baby boy was born. There was a call made to our daughter-in-love ... this baby needed a temporary home. Coincidentally - or providentially - she was already there at the hospital, just doors down from this sweet little baby. She had just watched the birth of another beautiful boy - her nephew - just hours before. In fact, her sister wrote her a card the night before, thanking her ahead of time for being there for the birth of her son...and promising her that her "baby sent from the stars" would soon be in her arms. She knew that God would be faithful to answer the prayers of so many ...

It would be two days until our son and his wife could go pick up their new foster baby from the hospital. But because of the circumstances surrounding the birth of their son - because they loved him like a son from the first moment they held him - he would stay in the nursery with his (soon to be ) cousin. And surprisingly - or providentially - our daughter-in-love's mom was able to visit her other grandson in the nursery ... and peek over at the beautiful baby boy who was born on the very same day. Baby Brock had some blood sugar issues, which required him to stay in the nursery ... my husband (a pastor) was called in to pray for him. And wonderfully -  or providentially - he was able to peek over at the beautiful baby boy who would bear his name.

So what are the odds that these "twin cousins" would be born on the same day.. at the same hospital .. to sisters who are best friends ? And what are the odds that Baby Brock would require time in the nursery, allowing for grandparents to view the other baby boy - the one who would become their grandson ?

Through the course of a year, it became obvious that Baby K would not be going home to live with his birth mother. Jason and Naomi brought him home from the hospital, and poured all the love into him they could. It wasn't difficult - in fact, they fell more in love with him as each day passed. His cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents did too ... nobody wanted to think about a time when Baby K would leave our family.

As foster care goes, there were ups and downs.. too many to count. There was talk about Baby K joining his birth mother, and for a long time his birth father began the process as well, from across the country, to regain rights to his son. Although he'd never met Baby K, he wanted to know that he would be raised by people who loved him like their own. It was impossible for him to know or believe this, living so far away.

And as each day passed, and Baby K grew older, the thought of losing him became more unbearable. Jason and Naomi did everything they could to accommodate the court's desire to unite children with their birth families... but it was breaking their hearts.

Because sometimes families are made a different way. Sometimes, the things that make a child your own are more than cells and blood and DNA... sometimes the things that make a family are the million little things that make up our days : the morning kisses and smiles over breakfast... the playtime routines, and nap time snuggles... the bedtimes rituals, and singing, and prayers, and all the firsts : cooing and rolling over and teething and sitting up and crawling and pulling to stand and standing alone and walking and playing ... and saying those first words - mama, and dada. Because they were his mama and daddy, and it was so evident to everyone who knew this little family. He was their son, and as time went by, they prayed and prayed, and prayed again, that he would always remain so.

There was talk - a plan - of a plane trip to New York. The case worker didn't think Baby K would handle that well... he was old enough to know that his whole world was changing, but not old enough to understand why. The case worker suggested Jason make the trip with Baby K, and she would join them to ensure everything went smoothly.

Can I tell you that there were more than a few midnight prayers said by all  - countless nights where sleep was impossible, imagining that plane trip, and what would lie beyond ... life without Baby K ?

Life without his beautiful little smile, his sweet little voice yelling, "Nana and Papa's house !!" whenever our children brought him over to play ? Life without his cousins, who loved him fiercely and didn't understand why anyone would want to change the way things were ?

There were midnight prayers, and daylight prayers, and 24 hour prayer chains, and corporate prayers, and church prayers, and prayers in our cars, and prayers on our knees, and prayers where sometimes all we could do was fall on our pillows and cry - cry hard out to God for a miracle for Baby K. We wanted what was best for Baby K, and we believed with all our hearts that best meant right where he was... with the only parents he had ever known. It's hard sometimes, to pray for what you want - but still trust God that He knows what is best. Because sometimes what we want is not always best, and sometimes life just doesn't bring you to the place you thought you were meant to be.

And so we prayed.  We prayed for God's will, and for His best, and we prayed that our hearts wouldn't be broken in the process. We prayed that Baby K would know -wherever he was - that he was loved, and loved fiercely.

One day, last June - just hours before I got the news that my beloved dad had stepped into eternity - a hearing was held for Baby K. Unexplainably - or providentially -  in the middle of proceedings to unite Baby K with his birth mother, she changed her mind. She told her lawyer and the court that she wanted Baby K to remain with the family who had raised him - the only family he knew. She said this would be the best thing for her son - to be raised by the ones he called Mommy and Daddy.

And the next day, coincidentally - or providentially - his birth father called from New York. Without any previous indication that he was willing to relinquish his rights as a parent, he told the courts that this was just what he wanted to do. He said he trusted that Baby K was exactly where he needed to be - that he knew he would be safe and loved by the people who had loved him from the day he was born.



Miracle of miracles of miracles.


So this little four minute video that Tyler stayed up til midnight with me putting together ... these four minutes are the finishing touches on a story created by God.

It began two and a half years ago on a sunny day in July... and although it had twists and turns, and faith-building chapters and heart wrenching plot twists, it ended in beauty and grace... on a sunny day in March.

In fact, it was March  the 7th, which is coincidentally - or providentially - the birthday of Baby K's beloved Auntie Kenzie.

And without further ado, here is Koa Benjamin Mahalen Rice's adoption day story...

How great is our God !!!





Koa: How Great Is Our God from patti rice on Vimeo.

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New Born Baby

gifts of grace

My heart is so full right now.

Yesterday our grandson officially became a Rice. More on that Monday- because I want to give his mommy a chance to blog about that amazing day before I do. But I will say this- besides the births of our children, I can't remember feeling so happy, so full of joy, and so aware of the grace of God, as yesterday.

It was a beautiful day.

And right now, I'm still floating on that feeling. I have so much to say about the grace of God - about His love for us, and His desire to give good gifts to us. I'll write more on Monday about it, because it is so obvious in the big things... but it's present in the small things as well.

There is a beautiful, a present, a tangible grace of God in a thousand little scenes played out every day in our lives.

Beautiful - it goes beyond the ordinary. It overrides everything in the natural and creates an extraordinary image for us of who God is ... if we pay attention.

Present - it's happening right now. The grace of God isn't something we have to wait for ... it's here, right now, waiting for us to receive it. And He so wants to give it to us.

God is pouring out His grace on us every.single.day.

It may be in big ways, like Koa's adoption ceremony. Or it may be in the tiniest details... in the gifts that He gives to us through our children. The curve of a little pinkie, the wisps of hair that frame her face, the tenderness she shows her babies... I see gifts so clearly right here, right now, gifts of grace.

Tangible- you can reach out and grab it if you want to. It's within your grasp. The grace of God- His blessing, His forgiveness, His favor - it's available for you, if you ask.

And as you go, spread this message : the kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Matthew 10:7

Did you catch that ? It's at hand. It's attainable.

Today I'm thanking Jesus for the big gifts, and the little ones as well.

Lord, help me to live life with my eyes wide open, help me to see the miracles that are happening right here, right now, and to recognize your love and grace in each one.


Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. 
James 1:17

“The whole of the life -- even the hard -- is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up.”

~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

Happy Saturday. xo

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How We Do Things at The Rice Ranch

I've had quite a few requests recently, for a blogpost on how we run our household.

I've said this before, but I always hesitate a bit before writing "how-to" posts... because I don't feel like I'm an expert on most of what I write about.

I may have some things that have worked for our family in regards to parenting, marriage, housecleaning, homeschooling etc... but that's all I'm offering. I've read some really great books on all of these subjects, and listened to some fabulous sermons on lots of these issues (except homeschooling) as well. Those are the people you should really listen to: the experts.

Also, I hope this post doesn't feel too preachy, if you know what I mean. What works for our family on a day-to-day basis might look completely different than what works for yours. We have different dynamics here than a lot of families, and things even looked a lot different years ago for us, when all of my kids were under the age of ten.

And here's another all-purpose disclaimer on posts like this: we're a work in progress. We are constantly - and I do mean constantly- upgrading our system at The Rice Ranch. Tweaking things, adding things, calling a family meeting and completely overhauling things ... we have not arrived.

And we know it.

Soooooo, with all of those disclaimers (geeze louise I make a lot of them around here), here is my handy dandy post on How We Do Things at The Rice Ranch.

Are you ready ??

Let's go.

Most mornings here start like this.

Pretty slow, sometimes with a few early risers, and always with a lot of yawns.

I try to get up before the kids do, to get my prayer and Bible reading in before the day gets past me. This does not always happen- but it is my goal. I am such a scatterbrained kind of a person, that having that little window of time to fix my thoughts on God and give Him time to speak to my heart helps me so much. I'm also a big : worrier, procrastinator, and scatterbrain (did I say that already?) and I get distracted easily...I'm terrible at prioritizing too. (Gee, and maybe I struggle with a little bit of self loathing at times ?? ) So with all these great personality/character traits at work, I really, really, REALLY need the help of the Lord to run this ship.

I'm a wreck without it.

Typically before I come downstairs, Caleb delivers my tea to me. He is usually (but not always) one of the first kids up, and he has made my tea for me for years. I am not a coffee drinker, but I do need my tea. Read : you don't want to talk to me in the morning before my tea. Jesus, then tea, in that order, is the only way I can function in the morning. Take one of those away, and there will not be many pretty pictures to post here on A Perfect Lily. Trust me on this. World without end, amen.

Caleb, teaching Hayden how to high-five. Part of our homeschooling curriculum for 9 month olds.

Last summer we changed many things about the way we eat at The Rice Ranch. We still have a long way to go, because Sam and the kids would have revolted and ordered a new wife/mom if I implemented everything I want to do over night. (I know that by .. .ahem ... trial and error.) One of the Big Changes we've made has to do with cereal.

The reason I capitalized the B and C in those words, is because that is probably how you will hear my children refer to their lives when they are older. Before Cereal (BC) and after the Big Change.

"Oh yes, that was 2012 BC, when Captain Crunch and our family were on a first name basis."

That's what they will say, I'm sure.


So NOW  - 2014 AC -  breakfast has many components to it. And most of them involve preparation by yours truly. There may be yogurt and granola, fresh fruit, ham or bacon or sausage (organic and nitrate free when we can afford it!) ten grain pancakes, fruit and or/ vegetable smoothies, potatoes, oatmeal, or the occasional bag of bagels... but cereal is now a Treat. With a capital T.

More on the reasons why in a future post, but I said all that to say : breakfast is a big deal now, and I love it. I love spending time with my kids in the morning while I prepare things and they devour things, because it is a great opportunity for me to connect with them before our day gets too busy.

I mean, look at that adorable face right there. Who wouldn't want to spend an hour each morning conversing over the stove with a crazy little guy like that ? Better than Wheaties, I tell ya.

So after breakfast, we attack our Morning Chores. I chose to capitalize those words as well, because they are such a sacred part of our daily ritual, that they just deserves caps. We do not do anything else after breakfast before Morning Chores commence and end.

Here's just a glimpse into what Morning Chores look like :

Caleb, attacking his zone.

I realize right here that there will be those who assume I am a slave driver, as a parent.

You would be right in that assumption.

However... this is what works for us.

There are too many bodies living under one roof to let things go for a few days around here.

Take for instance, a pair of shoes left lying around. If every member of the family left a pair of shoes on the floor, instead of properly placing them on the shoe rack in the garage, there would be ELEVEN pairs of shoes scattered throughout the house. And if every person in our house left just three objects lying around - a pencil, a library book, a jacket, what have you - that would 33 items spread throughout our house on a given day. Left out over the course of a few days, we would have over one hundred items to step over, making for one giant MESS of a house.

I can't function like that.

Maybe you can, and that's your way of coping - having it all spread out in front of you, so that you actually see the jacket you need, lying carelessly on the couch, or the library book peeking out from under the chair in the corner, just waiting for you when you need it.

I'm just not like that.

A place for everything, and everything in its place. That's how we roll here at The Rice Ranch.

But lest you think this means a house that is spotless, one that is at all times free of any debris or dust or dirt, here's another disclaimer:

I just jumped up from the computer to finger-swipe the inside of Hayden's mouth, because he was choking on a leftover chocolate chip from this morning. (Hello, pancakes with chocolate chips! You are not much better than Captain Crunch for my children. BUT, at least you had some protein powder sprinkled in, to redeem you a teensy bit.)

Where was I ???

Oh yes... Morning Chores.

Here's the master plan for how things are supposed to go...

Make sure you read that correctly : the way things are supposed to go.

It is rare - RARE - that every single thing on that master plan is done. In fact, it's safe to say that hell might freeze over before we actually hit every goal we have for the day. But we have a goal. There will be looooots of deviations from that goal. Josiah might come over for an hour one morning to shoot hoops with the kids, because he works a lot, and it's one of the few times he can make it over here during the day. So we drop everything to give the kids some time with their older brother. Daddy might come home for breakfast, and we all take a bit longer to savor a rare morning with him home... or someone wakes up sick and a trip to the doctor throws the whole schedule off... or any number of things conspiring against The Master Plan...

But we do have a goal.

We aim, and lots of times we miss.

But having these guidelines hanging on a dry erase board in the laundry room for everyone to see, has helped us all to regain focus when we lose it, and at least have some general idea of what we need to get done each day.

Hayden, emptying the dishwasher. (Note: all silverware was removed from before he climbed in there. Promise.)

So here's the nitty gritty, for those of you who asked specifically for a blogpost about How We Do It.


Each child in our family has a zone that they are responsible for cleaning. We think of this as a "divide and conquer" strategy for getting our house in order. Rather than Mommy cleaning everything, which would mean zero time for teaching, cooking, showering, and breathing- we assign zones.

After breakfast, as I said above, every child attacks their zone. These were established during a family meeting, and everyone gave input as to what they felt they could reasonably handle. The younger children may need help with their zones, and most days I go check on what they've done and maybe help them finish their job completely. Or, I may give some pointers on how they can finish their zones themselves ( for example: telling Abbi to clean behind the toilet and not just in front of it, etc.) But for the most part, they each own their zone.

Our three teenagers are responsible for cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast. They empty the dishwasher, load it, wipe down counters, put food away, sweep the floor, and empty the trash if needed.

Jackson pushes in barstools, or straightens chairs at the table. He also organizes the shoe rack in the garage, makes his bed, brushes his teeth, puts his jammies away, and gets dressed for the day. At age seven, his responsibilities as far as Morning Chores go are minimum.

Abigail is in charge of cleaning the upstairs bathroom every day. She cleans the counters, mirrors, sink and floor, and makes sure towels are hung up nicely. On Saturdays she deep cleans everything, but throughout the week she maintains. She makes her bed, straightens up her room, and vacuums her bedroom floor.

(All children must make their beds, brush their teeth, get dressed for the day and put jammies away, etc.)

Noah is in charge of the downstairs bathroom, which is only a half bath. He also takes turns with Abbi sweeping the downstairs and swiffering it (hallway, bathroom, dining room and living room...we have all wood floors downstairs.) He vacuums the bedroom that he shares with his brothers. It's a gigantic room, and we have several sets of bunk beds, in case you wondered how we fit five boys in one room!

Tyler vacuums the area rug in the family room, as well as our bedroom ... Jonathan does the stairs in the front of the house... Caleb does the stairs at the back of the house... Abigail vacuums the landing upstairs ... yes, we are neurotic about vacuuming every day. It takes each child about five minutes, and it saves tons on carpet cleaning bills. And our carpets always look nice :)

After Morning Chores we homeschool (details on that in a future post) and then we break for lunch. The older kids help me clean up, and then the little ones go down for a nap.

Again  - this does not always go according to schedule. Sometimes Hayden falls asleep before lunch and doesn't need a second nap. Sometimes Lily wakes up late, and doesn't go down for a nap til 3:30 (she's waiting for me to put her down right now!) But at some point my two youngest take naps, and this happens sometime after breakfast and before dinner :)

Throughout the day we have regular "quick pick up" sessions, if it seems things are getting out of hand. In fact, my kids are generally the ones to enforce this. If they see things are getting messy, one of them will usually ask - "Mom, can we just do a quick pick up of the house ? I can't function when things are like this."

What can I say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I always have kids helping me in the kitchen for dinner - it's usually Caleb and Abigail, but all kids do help with dinner prep in one form or another. Whether that's setting the table or getting drinks for people, or moving food to the dining room - we're all doing something to help, so that we can sit down and have a nice dinner together.

Our lives are pretty busy with church, and jobs, and sports, and a million other things, so every night is different as far as what we're doing....

Wednesday nights we go to church !

 ...but at the end of each day we always put the house back in order. The nice thing is that because of all our quick pick up's throughout the day, this doesn't take much time. Tyler is in charge of making sure the garage (a big playroom/music room/wii room) gets picked up, and everyone else helps make sure clothes go in the hamper, teeth are brushed, and bedrooms are clean. I'm usually folding laundry and putting it away while the kids get ready for bed, and Daddy always prays with everyone before we go to sleep.

So there you have it.

Zones, a master plan, Morning Chores, quick pick ups.... this is How We Do Things at The Rice Ranch.

I'd love to hear how your family does things in the comment section... and if you've blogged about it in the past, leave a link !

Happy Thursday :)

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New Born Baby

Song For An Eleventh Child

It's Monday, which means my thoughts are usually a hodgepodge, reflective of the state of our house after the weekend. It's not that everything comes completely undone- we make a huge effort to keep things flowing on both Saturday and Sunday, so that Monday doesn't smack us all upside the head ...

but still, it's Monday.


The kids are (for the most part) done with school today, which means Abigail still has to do her spelling, Tyler has to get on the computer (because he worked all morning), and Jackson probably still needs to do his math. They're all on recess right now -playing ping pong, baking cupcakes and shooting hoops - which is what I love about homeschooling. When mom needs a break, she just yells "RECESS" and kids go flying in eight different directions. No questions asked.

By the way, the pictures above were taken a few weeks ago. They just fit in with my mention of cupcake baking, so I inserted them in. The real cup cake baking going down right now is filling my home with such an amazing aroma, pictures wouldn't do it justice.

Sam is hosting a Corvallis Chamber of Commerce breakfast tomorrow - as a businessman he attends these fairly regularly. He comes home telling me about the yummy goodies that he devoured while pretending to listen to speeches about products and services and the like. Yeah, I'm onto those people - Chamber of Commerce meetings are all about the food.

SO, as tomorrow's host, he is providing 65 cupcakes and beverages to all of Corvallis's commerce people (or whatever they're called) and guess who is doing all that baking ??

You would be correct if you said Caleb and Abigail ... our resident bakers. As I type, they are whipping up 65 of these glorious beings:

* Maple Bacon Cupcakes with Maple Syrup Frosting

* Espresso Cupcakes - half with Whipped Cream Frosting and the other half with Creamy Nutella Frosting

* Carrot Cake Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting


They came up with the menu themselves, and I am the lucky taste tester. Drool. It's a tough job but someone has to do it. We wouldn't want any Chamber People turning down Sam's business because of a less-than-scrumptious cupcake, now would we ? So here I sit, with Creamy Nutella frosting on my fingers and some carrot cake batter dripping down my chin... just savoring the fact that I have several more recipes to "test."

Life is rough.

In other news... I turned 46 yesterday.

From here on out I will be counting backwards each year, so if you send me a card for future birthdays, please remember that fact, okay ? Can't wait to be the big Four Five next year ... and when I enter my thirties again, look out- because I never did the whole midlife crisis thing when I was there the first time. I think it's worth a shot the second time around, don't you ?

No birthday pics of me, because I was having a bad hair day yesterday, but here's a cute one from a few Saturdays ago...

... oh wait, I was behind the camera on that one.  My bad.  But LOOK at that little cutie pictured above !

 Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure this isn't a dream- I had not one but TWO babies in my forties. Talk about happiness.

When I was in my twenties I always dreamed about having a baby in my forties- I saw friends who had babies later in life, and they just looked so relaxed as parents. It seemed they were so much more laid back than I was in my twenties as a new mom... if their child didn't sleep through the night or start eating solids at "the right time", who cared ? They were just enjoying their baby, and they didn't really enter into the whole parenting competition thing.

And now that I'm here, I get it. Hayden is nine and a half months old and just now wanting to sort-of-maybe-possibly try baby food. That might have freaked me out a bit with Jason and Josiah. After all, so-and-so's baby was eating three different kinds of pureed vegetables at six and a half months, and what was wrong with my child ?!?

Because these were the kinds of things that kept me up at night in the early days of my parenting.

Was I wrong to trust my instincts on letting my babies nurse when they wanted to, or was Sister Schedule right to make sure her baby ate precisely every three hours on the dot ? Would my baby turn into a co-dependent adult because I let him stay sleeping soundly in my bed with me at eleven months, rather than wearily trudging back and forth between the nursery and my bedroom ... or was Sister Sleep Through The Night going to produce the next president of the United States thanks to her diligence to be Baby Wise and more.

You want to watch a brawl break out, just ask a group of moms about their opinions on breastfeeding vs. bottle, co-sleeping vs. crying-it-out, circumcision vs.... not...  Forget Republican vs. Democrat, the real cultural divide in America is whether or not to immunize, or when.

And don't even get me started on potty training - I lost count of how many mommy wars were waged amongst my circle of 20something friends over precisely what age was too old to still be in diapers.


Today I have a whole different philosophy ... because they all eventually get potty trained, and I don't know any 17 year olds who are still slipping into bed with their parents ... so what's the rush ? I just want to enjoy this time in my baby's life when he is completely dependent on me for everything.

There will come a day when he does all those things on his own, and I'll be wondering to myself - so what was the big deal about co-sleeping, anyway ? If my toddler still wanted to crawl in bed with me at three in the morning, was it that crucial that he learned to sleep solo at age two ? And so what if a few of my kids were three and-a-gasp-half before they made it out of diapers ? Before you know it, they are living life on their own, without even a thought to what age they started solids... just blink, and the baby days are gone.

Well, recess is over, and that little charmer with the bald head and twinkle in his eye- the one who kept me up late last night and woke me up early this morning and is wanting to nurse for the 26th time today.... he's calling my name again.

I'l end with this poem, and although it's titled Song For A Fifth Child, I think it works for the eleventh as well.


Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)

Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby. And babies don't keep.

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New Born Baby

do you believe in miracles??

...because a very BIG one just happened for Luke.

24 hours after the giveaway was posted, and he's fully funded.

Because Jesus is awesome like that.

THANK YOU to all who helped spread the word via twitter, blogs, FB and IG .

Happy tears here at The Rice Ranch tonight !!

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New Born Baby

URGENT...PLEASE HELP

An emergency meeting of the sock sisters has been called via email this evening. It resulted in this post.

There's so much to say, but in a nutshell: I need your help.

Friends, I can't tell you how important this is.

My friend Elizabeth....  words fail...  my beautiful friend, Elizabeth needs a miracle. Cancer stinks, and Elizabeth is not dong well. I'm asking you to pray for healing for her - if you've been a reader here for the past few years, you know who and what I'm referring to.

The one thing that makes Elizabeth happy- the thing that is helping her right this minute, as she's fighting an infection and fighting cancer and fighting for her life- is helping others.

It's called The Dehority Distraction.

And this time we want to give her a BIG distraction... and this is where YOU come in.

This is Luke - an orphan with Down syndrome.

... his family needs $14,000 to be fully funded, so that they can go bring him home from China.

There is a BIG giveaway going on over HERE....

...please, please, PLEASE - will you go donate to Luke's family and be entered to win that amazing prize and more ??

Elizabeth put this all together- you know that great organization called Make A Wish ?? Well if they had that for adults, Elizabeth would ask for this to happen...for Luke's family to be funded, and that she could be a part of the miracle to make that happen. This is Elizabeth's wish.

Will you help me make it come true ??

Please go to Julia's post to donate and be entered to win... and grant Elizabeth's wish in the process.

LET'S DO THIS !!!

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life with lily

I was sorting through photos in my lightroom library just now, and I found a few of my favorites that I realized I hadn't shared.

And then I thought about the fact that I haven't really written much about Down syndrome specifically in awhile on the blog... I guess because it doesn't even find itself on my radar most days..

...but today I'll devote a post to it. Just because.



Lily is four years old right now... in some ways we are seeing the gap widen a bit as far as her "abilities" go. Here's what she can't do (yet) that perhaps a lot of four year olds are doing right now :

Get herself completely dressed independently.  She tries, oh does she try. This usually results in her pants pulled halfway up, over several pairs of her siblings' chonies. (If you're not from the southwest, chonies = underpants.) She can pull a shirt over her head, and maybe get an arm stuck in a sleeve or two, unless it's a loose shirt. She's great at putting shoes on if they're not too tight, but it's 50/50 as to whether they will be on the right feet. But that's pretty on par with a typical four year old, so props to her for that, right ?



Run. She has a lightning fast walk, that almost resembles a run, given how fast her little arms are working to propel her forward. And I guess you could almost call it running, based on how quickly she gets to where she wants to go (usually away from me if we are in a public place and she wants to disobey... she thinks it's funny.) But as far as a knees-in-the-air, full-on RUN... this is not happening quite yet. Probably a good thing, given her love for darting away from me while laughing hysterically, as mentioned a few sentences back.



Speak in complete sentences.  More on what she can do as far as speech in a minute, but a complete sentence such as "I have to go potty" is still something we're working on with Lily. Which leads me to...



Going potty in the toilet. We attempted potty training one year ago. We saw a teeny tiny microscopic bit of success, followed by absolute zero success. If you're a mom who is into being mommy-trained (taking your little one to the potty every twenty minutes a day) then kudos to you. I just don't have the time or desire. We tried again to potty train a few weeks ago...I say that in the loosest sense of the word. With six children to homeschool and a verrrry full plate, I don't have three days to commit to the "three day method" or anything else that resembles strict adherence to a Plan For Potty Training. I spent a few days letting Lily wear chonies (her own, not her siblings) and set the timer somewhat regularly... I employed all the tools we used with previous kids to see if she was ready for potty training, to no avail. Lily is a smart cookie- she gets that she's supposed to "try" when she's sitting on her potty. She makes the appropriate faces and grunts (pretty funny to witness) and she claps for herself and grabs a chunk of tp to finish the job... but there's nothing in the potty to actually validate all the clapping and wiping going on. Five or ten minutes after we leave the bathroom, inevitably, there is a trail of pee following her down the hallway or wherever she is playing. And she's oblivious. She doesn't even look down to see what is flowing from her chonies- and when I call her attention to it, "OH !! LOOK, LILY ! PEE PEE!" she stares at it blankly, and does not seem one bit motivated to get it off her legs.

All of this to say- I don't think she is ready for this quite yet. I'm not frustrated, or concerned, because every mom I've talked to who has been down this road with a child with special needs, encourages me that she will get there. I'm just not into putting a million minutes of effort towards something that she's not ready for right now. We will try again this summer, perhaps, but for now we are giving this area some time.




Sooooo... onto what Lily can do, as a four year old with Down syndrome. I'm sure I didn't exhaust the list of the "can'ts", but those that I listed were the significant ones, I think. This list will be much longer, because that's what we're observing about Down syndrome right now- there seems to be a wider gap in the "can't" section as far as when she will hit those milestones.  But the things she can do ...  well, take a look...





At four years old, Lily can...

Feed herself independently. She needs no help at all in using a fork, a spoon, a sippie cup (she can drink from a regular cup, but I use sippie cups for all of my kids at age four - because I'm anal like that, and I don't like ANY spills on my carpet.)

Sit quietly and read a book. She may not be able to read the words on the pages...yet.. but she makes up her own, and points to the pictures to describe what she sees. She carefully turns pages and takes time on each one before moving on to the next. She typically has her baby doll sitting on her lap as she does this, and often pulls a blanket over the both of them to ensure coziness during reading time. Yesterday I found her lying on the stairs, head propped on a pillow, blanket draped over her little body, laughing and reading one of the kids' books to herself. Every now and then she would chuckle and say "oooohh gosh!", so I knew whatever book she was devouring was a good one.

Climb up onto and down off the couch, the bed, a chair, the stairs.  For the most part she has no problem getting where she wants to go. She is very adept at grabbing onto the sheets and pulling herself up onto our bed, which is several feet off the ground. She can climb in and out of Hayden's co-sleeper with no problem. She loves to climb into cabinets if they're left open, or hide herself in any little cozy spot she can find.

Let the kids know when she wants in on their fun. If they go in their room and shut the door, she is sure to follow - knock loudly - and yell PLEEEEASE at the top of her lungs. In fact, as I'm typing this, she is knocking on the door that leads out to the garage where the kids are, yelling "GUYS ! GARAGE ! PLEASE !" Girlfriend can't stand being left out.


Pack her things up when it's time to go somewhere. If we are headed out the door, you can be sure Lily is grabbing her purse (or two or three) and her baby doll. She might also have a book tucked under her arm, a blanket for her baby, and a set of keys shoved into one of the purses. She is very aware that we take things with us when we go places - if I'm hurrying her out the door she will usually yell OH! if she's empty handed, and run back into another room to retrieve whatever she deems necessary for the trip. If we are at church and announce that we're leaving, she does the same thing- grabs whatever items the kids have left behind on our row of chairs, and toddles out the door efficiently. If I forget something- like a hat or a sippie cup or a Bible- she is quick to remind me. "Mama!" she will admonish me - "HERE!" She is pretty bossy when it comes to not leaving things behind.

Clean up. I can't even begin to tell you what a good cleaner upper Lily is. If she's in the nursery with me during church (I only let her go in when it's my turn for nursery duty) she looooves to clean up the toys. She usually does this on her own, without me singing the "clean up clean up everybody do your share" song... for instance, if we just played with legos and the kids move onto books, she is all about making sure every last lego is back in the box before she picks up a book. If the kids are sprawled out amongst a kajillion toys, and pulling new ones into the mix, she is the diligent mother, stacking books into bins, and piling old toys into plastic tubs.

She is especially good at micromanaging Hayden when he's making a mess of her toy kitchen at home. "LILY!" she will yell at him (yes, she calls him Lily.) "NO NO! lalalalalalalala NO!" as she yanks the wooden dishes out of his hands to stack them neatly in the oven. She's quite bossy with her stuff.

Tell us what she wants. While Lily is not speaking in full sentences with subjects and prepositions and all the in-betweens right now, she DOES know how to communicate her needs and wants to us. here are a few examples...

"Mama! Cheerios, please!" (repeated 12 times in a row, just to make sure I heard.)

"Sissy! Go ! Me!"  (said in the most pathetic tone, with her little pointer finger stabbing her own chest repeatedly. "ME!" means- don't forget about ME !!)

"Mama, wa-wa, PLEASE." (she wants her sippie with water in it.)

"OOOOH ! POOOPOOO !"  before, after or during the fact. And don't let this declaration fool you about her ability to be potty trained. We do try to accommodate the poop sentences, but pee is a whole different ballgame.

"Daddy ! Please ! Up!"

"JonJon ! Lily, garage !" (take me with you into the garage)

When I asked her what she was doing in here...

...she answered, "Car. Baby. Purse. Go."


When we offer her something she doesn't want, she replies, "NO. No want it."

When we offer something she does want, "YES !" perfectly articulated .. or "BABY, YEAH !"  (probably because she hears her siblings say YEAH BABY all the time :) )

And more sentences...

"Mama, please - shoes ?"

"Babby (Abbi) - read ? Book ? Please ?"

She can also ...

name everyone in her family

point to all her body parts and name them

answer questions like "who is going to be at church today ?"  : Koa, MoMo, Bella, Brock...

say sooooo many words :garage, car, book, cheerios, baby, read, milk, cheese crisp, boat, car, cake, cookie, go, yes, yeah, what, pretty, yay, yellow, green, blue, ball, brownies, mouth, birdie, bath, shoe, sock, cards, teeth, eyes, nose, hair, ears, toes, cat, dog, mirror, daddy, mama, sissy, no, tree, please, thank you, pants, purse, keys, dress, doll, ouch, hot, cold, sad, cry, and at least fifty more I'm forgetting.

follow directions...if you ask her to get a diaper and the wipes for Hayden, she knows all the places to look. If you tell her to go get her shoes, she does it. If you ask her to throw something away, she leaves the room and does it. If you ask her where something is, she will go find it. If we give her something and tell her to "go put this in sissy's room" or "go hand this to Caleb" she knows exactly what to do.

give the sweetest kisses in the world

Some funny/cute things she does :

as mentioned, calls Hayden "Lily." all.the.time.

claps her hands and sings during worship at church

raises her hands and sways to the music at church

adores Norah, her niece, but ignores Hayden, her brother. Unless he's touching her stuff. Then she is the bossy mama.

loves to sleep with her siblings

always sings to and rocks her baby dolls

loves for Daddy to brush her teeth or brush her hair...cries when anyone else does it

her favorite sibling is Noah. It was her first word, and she ALWAYS wants to show him things. "NOAH !!!" we hear her yelling all the time...she has him wrapped around her finger.

Koa is her best friend. She absolutely lights up every time he comes over. If we tell her she's going to see him she yells KOA with the biggest smile on her face. They have the sweetest relationship ever- he talks her language. He'll ask her a question like this - "Lily- lalalalala?" and she bursts into laughter. He asks her what she's doing and she answers" Book ! lalalal!" and they laugh together. Cutest thing ever.

So there you have it. Life with Down syndrome as we know it right now. In some ways it's very typical to life without Down syndrome, in some ways not so much. I realize that for other families, that extra chromosome means more health issues, more visits to the doctor, etc...so far Lily has been the healthiest child we've had. She has the easiest temperament, and she is the happiest among us on any given day. She has her grumpy, stubborn moments, but they are few and far between - and she bounces back more quickly than any of her siblings.

I'm sure the future will hold many challenges, but for now we are just enjoying the day to day with Lily...

..which is a pretty wonderful thing.

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